Feeling Stuck

I feel stuck like mostly people. If you feel stuck your not alone. We can get through this.

This is going to sound a little weird and extremely personal, but I feel stuck. Mostly when it comes to tech which is part of 90% of my life. Let me explain before you get all emotional. I'm writing about this in case someone else in the world feels stuck. I want you to know you are not alone.

I've been in tech for 12yrs. I started out with my first internship in high school. From there I've never really seen a year of life without some cool tech thing going on (minus that year of grad school). When I started out I wanted to just be an astronaut, then I wanted to work at Google, and finally I just wanted to dominate the space I'm in. Honestly I think I've done pretty well in dominating. People saw me as a mobile dev that's trustworthy and always trying new things in that area. It was great but I had to leave.

Now I work in dev ops. This career field has let me know that I definitely should have started more IT/sys admin early on (like job right of hs early). I find so much joy looking at systems as a whole, automating processes so that devs can just focus on code, and then deploying infrastructure. I don't regret my years as a developer as I think they played a vital part of me getting where I am. During this transition I feel like I've lost myself a bit.

What did I lose? I don't know. I sit down to code nowadays and I feel blocked. I still get app ideas, but the execution piece is taking too long for me. I can't see the same solutions in a reasonable amount of time. It really bothers me. I really enjoy making small projects and getting them up in a weekend. I don't find anything wrong with that. Honestly even doing these homelab things I don't feel crazy passionate about it's just something I want to be better at.

So what's the fix?

I don't know. I want to take the month of December to figure that out. I would love to be able to crank out the rest of my Medical Notes app and maybe even a little something something on how to use chatgpt, but honestly I'd just be really happy to complete 1 idea in a weekend again.

I'm reading this book called "The Artist's way" and I'm starting to think that my main form of personal art is coding. Making small programs or apps that people can download. Solving these random problems...it's cool for me. I'm not sure what the rest of the book has in store for me but I hope by the end of it I'm unblocked and back to cranking out the things I want. Matter of fact my next idea is a budgeting app.

Anyway we shall see how this goes. I just wanted to get this feeling off my chest a bit. Since this is somewhat of a record of my life and growth I figured it was fair to get this down. Hope if your blocked you also find an opening in the near future and get back to creating.